


i've heard it all before, at least a million times

by Hurrican3lov3



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Love, Mild Language, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 11:36:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4959133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hurrican3lov3/pseuds/Hurrican3lov3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A slice of my life, my heart and my hurt for all to read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i've heard it all before, at least a million times

**Author's Note:**

> I will rewrite this at some point with one of my otp's as a fill in but i just want to type it out first. this is a form of therapy for me so if you like it great. if you don't...i don't care. The words are circling in my head and I NEED to get them out or else I won't be able to enjoy my day.

They find each other at the same party.

She hears him before she see's him. Hear's his stupid laugh through the open window and in her minds eye see's his smile.

Her heart drops and her muscles lock.

Someone at the party had the decency to warn her with a text, " _he's here."_

The forewarning didn't really do her much good. She's on the freeway, windows down and music so loud she can't even hear herself screaming.

She is T E R R I F I E D.

Everything in her still shakes as if her bones and blood are an island and an earthquake is threatening to break her apart. By the end of the night when the tears are flowing nonstop and sleep still evades her despite how exhausted she is she'll look back on this moment, when she froze in the kitchen a bag of ice on her hip and how she should have walked away.

But she's always been too headstrong...wants to prove to herself and to him how she can act as if he doesn't affect her one damn bit. 

( _But she forgot that he KNOWS her. Knows her better than her own mother. And the walls she erected are painfully easy for him to see through. She hates him for it.)_

Everyone is drunk by the time the yelling starts. Accusations are flying in the air and it all hurts. 

Before she slips away, his voice floats in through the open kitchen windows and he's talking his shit. 

Since when did alcohol make him so hateful? So ready to spite her and laugh about it with the boys as if she didn't mean a goddamn thing to him at some point?

She's a mess. Hiding on the front porch, tears streaming down and damning herself for being so fucking weak. For loving a boy who treated her heart so callously and who liked to brag about how easy it was to fuck with her head. 

Why does she love someone like that? It's a question that plagues her and the only answer she can dredge up is that she just...does. He's not her's anymore, so she forces it to the back of her mind into a carefully built box with his name on it. 

He finds her there. Tears dried up and she doesn't want to look him in the eye and they talk. He keeps touching her and she keeps slipping out of his grasp, doesn't understand why he keeps doing it, doesn't want to understand either especially when she knows he's got a new play thing she used to feel sorry for. 

Up until she found out how much the little thing likes to throw herself at her cousin after he'd been promoted. She laughs and laughs for days because _**oh the beautiful irony of it**_. He claimed to value loyalty and she gave it in spades and he didn't **want her** anymore. He's got a type and that type isn't her. It's those girls who go after the men that have nice cars and think they must have money or boys who are put in a position of power higher then their own and she feels sorry for him for a brief moment. And then she starts laughing again and if it's bitter its okay, no one can blame her can they?

He hugs her and despite all of the anger in her heart it shatters her. Why does he have to feel like home?

She cries because she knows this feeling of home is fleeting and temporary so she clutches the back of his shirt tightly trying to soak it in as best as she can and then she's slipping out of his grasp again.

Days later when she's spilling her guts to a close friend she gets asked, "how many times has he cheated in you?" 

The question makes her pause. She holds up a zero because she's still somewhat naive and it's painfully obvious when her friend shakes her head and say's, "no i don't mean physically cheating I mean emotionally cheating."

She doesn't have an answer.

**Author's Note:**

> like i said this isn't done...just needed to get most of it out n_n  
> um the title by the way is a working title, might rename it might not idk...if you recognize it THAT'S because it's a lyric pulled from a song by the fab Selena Gomez called Same Old Love i encourage you to go listen to it if you haven't heard it...anyway gotta go  
> xoxo


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